According to ER doctors, getting foreign objects stuck in your anus is surprisingly common. The items on this list are weirder than most, however. We’ve gone beyond the “usual” bottles and dildos to bring you these ten truly bizarre items that have all been found lodged in peoples’ bums. Something tells us that they didn’t really slip and “fall” onto these objects!
Have you searched high and low for your car keys but can’t find them? Don’t forget to check your bum! (Photo)
Vibrator and Salad Tongs
It doesn’t take a detective to crack this case. Getting a vibrator stuck in his bum wasn’t enough to send this man to the ER. He simply attempted to remove the stuck object by using a pair of salad tongs. Trouble is, then the tongs got stuck, too! (Link | Photo)
This is his story, and he’s sticking with it: A London WW2 veteran was plagued with terrible hemorrhoids, so he used a live artillery shell to push the hemorrhoids up into his rectum. One day, he pushed too far. The ammo became stuck in his anus, and when he went to the ER to get it removed, he admitted that the shell was live and could explode at any time. A bomb squad was brought to the hospital to assist in the removal of the shell. (Link)
Peanut Butter Jar
What, no jelly? (Link)
A Bottle of Perfume
A 39-year-old married white male lawyer went to the ER to get a bottle of Impulse Body Spray removed from his anus. This was not the first time he had inserted this object, but this time it got stuck. After trying to reach it using a back-scratcher, he eventually had to go have it removed by a doctor.
No word on whether or not his wife got her perfume back. (Link)
A Ringing Cell Phone
A lawyer (what is it with lawyers?) from Georgia was reportedly showering with his cell phone, when he slipped and fell, getting the phone lodged firmly up his backside. During the surgery to remove the phone, the device rang three more times. (Link)
A Pint Glass
Bottoms up! (Link)
Maybe he was using the flashlight to find his car keys. What? It’s dark in there. (Link)
A Toy Car
This incident was not an accident, it was intentional. The late Ryan Dunn of the television show Jackass intentionally inserted a Matchbox car into his rectum just to mess with the ER doctors. (Link)
A Cement Enema
We saved the weirdest story for last. During a kinky sex session, two homosexual men decided to try something new. One man lay down and let the other man pour liquid cement into his anus using a funnel. Yes, really.
Naturally, the cement didn’t stay liquid for long, and when it hardened it became a huge mass of cement that had to be surgically removed. (Link)
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